Goodbye Plaster Cast

Freedom is finally within my grasp. Tomorrow they’re removing the pins from my wrist and I get to see if this has all be worthwhile, and also just how much more recovery I have to do. I can’t say I’m looking forward to it, although I am looking forward to getting rid of the cast once and for all.

These last few weeks have been challenging, my patience has been wafer thin – which, as I said to my husband – has a lot to do with how frustrated I am with myself than anything to do with Pippin.

Pip herself has become more inquisitive and more determined to do things for herself than ever before and that has been challenging.

It’s been the first time that she’s reached for her dad over me, and even the breastfeeding has started to decrease. It’s hard not to read into that a reflection of how she’s feeling about me right now.

I’ve found myself saying no an awful lot, which I know is a pointless exercise because things go a lot more smoothly if I talk to her calmly and face to face! I even found myself, after telling her four times in a row not to pull the seedlings up, that she wasn’t allowed in the garden anymore.

Way to go on an idle threat, and also not really the parenting style I strive for.

So I’m feeling a bit fraught, guilty and sore. I know my shortness of temper comes from feeling out of control. I’ve caught myself shouting in frustration at my inability to do my hair, or buttons – or even when Argos wouldn’t confirm my transaction. This isn’t me. I’m not serene by any stretch, but I’m not usually so tense.

I’m just trying to remember that Pip isn’t being naughty, that she’s learning all the time and following the naturally inquisitive nature we are working to foster. I also have to remember to cut myself some slack, I’m sore and things are a little more difficult right now. I’ve never been very good at letting go of things, or delegating  so I’m very much on edge, but sometimes you have to remember to rest and heal.

And if Pip is learning all the time then so am I. Each stage of her development is a new stage in motherhood for me and we’re both taking this journey into the unknown together.

 

Ten things I learnt in my 1st year of being a parent…

I think I’ve learned some things since I became a parent: I’m pretty good at putting a nappy on a wriggly baby, and I think I’ve got this breastfeeding thing pretty much sorted.

Here’s a few other things I’ve learned over the last twelve months.

  1. Get rid of all the preconceived ideas you had of being a parent. Just chuck them right out, because all they will bring you is guilt. When you planned how you would parent, and you made all these sweeping statements you forgot one vital thing: your hypothetical child wasn’t real. Your real child is probably very different.
  2. Bedtime is there to test you. I was not blessed with a child who likes to sleep, I was blessed with a child who likes to fight sleep with every fibre of her being. Then, when she has lulled us into a false sense of security by appearing to get into a bedtime routine then BAM she wakes up seven times in a night.
  3. Your child will have more, and nicer, clothes than you. Who can resist the tiny little outfits?
  4. You buy more stuff than you could ever need. I don’t know why this happens either, you can start with the best intentions of not falling into that trap, but gradually more and more stuff creeps in until you’re living under piles of plastic and gadgets that you have no idea how to use.
  5. You will be tired. Very, very tired. So tired.
  6. You’ll forget your basic needs. Especially in those first few weeks. Although it continues, whilst writing this I’ve realised I’ve had a packet of crisps and a muffin today, and I can’t remember if I’ve had a drink. My daughter on the other hand has had three lovingly home cooked meals. Which leads me to…
  7. Even if they liked something hours ago, even if you spent ages cooking it, small toddlers will refuse to eat it. Sometimes I think they plan it…
  8. Baby giggles are the best. They just laugh with complete abandon at the strangest things, it is completely wonderful.
  9. Bath time is terrifying, and then really fun. At first, you put this tiny little baby in the water and it is so utterly scary. Will it burn them? Am I going to drop them? What if they DROWN? But then they can sit up by themselves, and they start to play with their bath toys and they really, really love it. Bath time is one of my favourite times of they day.
  10. It is, hands down, the best thing I have ever done.