As a breast feeding mum I’ve found that there are a number of days you feel like you might want to chuck yourself out of the nearest window.
I speak in jest of course. These are usually days when we’ve not left the house, we’ve been stuck to the bed all day, feeding. When you try and put the baby down, but they scream and generally its all a little bit pants.
It’s hard. You don’t want to be frustrated with your baby. It isn’t their fault. But having a baby can be frustrating. I’m finding it hard because it feels like I don’t have a life or job or anything really. Aside from caring for this little person.
That’s fairly typical I think. I don’t think there’s any shame in feeling like its difficult. There might be a bit of shame in having your second take away of the week and being annoyed with your husband because he got to go to work today.
It isn’t particularly helpful to get angry. But he has a break. I’ve been up since 3 o’clock this morning.
I love my little girl beyond anything. She’s my bestest little friend (even if my husband says I need to get out more if my best friend is a nine week old). At the same time though I am struggling with the changes.
I hope that I will still be able to work and I will still have my career, but currently I don’t. I can’t work with her here and I can’t express enough to leave her with someone, even if I had someone to leave her with!
If I’m honest I’m not sure I could leave her with someone else anyway, I would miss her and it doesn’t feel right.
Mum guilt I guess. But I still feel I need something else, a hobby or being with friends. The only interaction I have with adult people is to talk about the baby, or other babies or how horrendous birth is. It is hard not to compare with how little things have changed for my husband in that sense.
There are positives though. The closeness, and I can tell she gets a lot out of it emotionally. Plus I don’t have to wash bottles, and I hate washing up.
Is this normal? Is this just general new parent feels? Hormones?
Lord knows! I don’t know how long I will breast feed for. But what I definitely won’t miss is having to write posts using my sucky windows phone voice recognition.